NY Bribing 'Bron 'Bron With Boobies & Beef

TMZ: May 11, 2010: 

 "LeBron James just got the sweetest offer in the history of mankind to move from Cleveland to the New York Knicks -- a lifetime of free stripper action.

The Cleveland Cavaliers star -- who will become a free agent after this season -- is getting million-dollar offers from several franchises to make the switch to their team ... but if LeBron inks a deal with the Knicks, New York's premiere strip club Scores says it'll give the basketball star: 

- A free lifetime of lap dances

- A "LeBron James Day" when all the strippers will wear his jersey

- And free food for life at the strip club's very own steakhouse

Good luck competing with that Utah!  

Well Lebron, you've got quite the offer served fresh on a NY platter.  I mean how can you beat free lap dances, steaks, and honey dips wearing your jersey on a designated Lebron James day?  At some point you have to cut your losses and realize that life's necessities don't include a ring. Food, a city wide day in tribute to you, and strippers are a token of survival.  Sure you may not have the ice to flash while some dip is grinding on your junk, but at least you'll have a nice cut of beef at all times, right?