Blog Archive

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Blogs: Do They Make you Feel Inspired or Inadequate?

I've been reading a lot of articles about blogging lately, especially on Jezebel.  I always find the articles to be so interesting, especially as a blogger- I want to stay informed on what is being said about the blogging community.

Today though, I found one of the pieces compelling enough to comment on.  It's called The New Decornographers: Bloggers With Perfect, Beautiful, Craftsy Lives. The piece basically talks about how fashion, design & home and crafting blogs make a lot of people feel like they don't measure up or that their lives aren't good enough. If you read the piece and its comments, you'll notice a lot of commenters saying blogs make them feel bad (especially about their weddings) while others praise blogs for the inspiration they provide. I am in the latter category.

Having said that, last year, I saw author Brene Brown speak at an event called The UP Experience. She wrote the book I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. During her lecture, she talked about how a lot of women feel like failures because their homes don't look like Pottery Barn catalogs. I thought her Pottery Barn example was pretty spot-on.  I love Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and West Elm catalogs...but sometimes they do make you feel a little bit like you don't have enough or that your home could be better. Even if you think it for a split second, the thought is there.  I always feel fortunate for the fact that we even have a home so sometimes I feel guilty for thinking there is always more to improve.  Can we ever truly be happy with all of that beautiful inspiration floating around out there?  Does seeing a blog sometimes make you wish you could have the clothing item or decor item posted in that blog? 


 I often see girls on YouTube commenting on "Haul" videos that they are so jealous and that they wish they could afford to shop so much and even quite hateful comments telling the haulers that they are "showing off" or that they are horrible for making haul videos because "most people can't afford the items they buy." There is a good article about "Haul Videos" here. A must-read if you love YouTube beauty guru videos.
 YouTube's JuicyStar07

My love for blogging started when I was planning my wedding and watching YouTube beauty guru videos
.  I scoured blogs sometimes for a few hours at a time to find ideas and inspiration for my wedding. I still have a file on my computer with about 15 sub folders (wedding hair, wedding makeup, flowers, accessories, must have shots...etc

When I discovered blogs like The Chloe Conspiracy or Cupcakes and Cashmere, I would spend hours going back through their archives because there was just so much to take in and be inspired by. Sometimes, for me, discovering a new blog can be downright exhilirating (like when I discovered Style Me Pretty, Southern Weddings and Jasmine Star's Photography Blog.)

I think humans love to see beautiful things. Beautiful decor, art, clothing, makeup, photographs...It's like when someone really attractive walks into a room- you can't help but look at them or notice them (or even stare!) 

With blogs, you can see all of this beauty from the comfort of your own home, and a right click "save as" is all it takes to forever capture that inspiration into your computer's hard-drive.  I have different "inspiration" photos for everything on my computer.  Home decor, hair, makeup, weddings (I refuse to delete them even though we are nearing our first anniversary.) There's something about those beautiful images that comforts me. Somehow, deleting them seems...wrong. Like I'm throwing away something valuable.

I don't know where I'm really going with this. I guess I'm hoping to engage in a discussion with you all about blogs and how they make you feel.  

Do beautiful design blogs make your home feel inadequate? Does reading a fashion blog make you want to change your wardrobe or make you feel like you don't have fashionable clothing?

For me, blogs are about feeling inspired.  Sure, sometimes Chole wears something that I would totally LOVE to have myself...but unless it's affordable, I can usually just appreciate and admire how she's styled the outfit without feeling like I absolutely MUST have it.

It makes me sad sometimes to think that some women (or young girls) might feel inadequate from reading blogs.  It makes me even sadder when women regret doing (or not doing) certain things at their weddings because of the downright stunning weddings showcased on so many popular wedding blogs.  Images that look like they belong in magazines.  

So- what do you think? Do beautiful blogs inspire you or make you feel inadequate?  Please feel free to share your comments below, I'm interested in what you have to say after reading the comments in the Jezebel piece.

Here's a sampling of some of the most interesting comments from Jezebel:

Federov: These sites always make me feel like I'm back in kindergarten, glue in my hair and glitter stuck to every area of exposed skin, the only one in class still unable to get my snowflake to look pretty like the others.

hambonetoblerone: I got married a couple of years ago, and ever since I have found wedding blogs (or any photographic evidence that weddings exist, period) totally unbearable. It's like everything I see, I kick myself for not incorporating into my wedding, and so everything I see diminishes my memory, and it suuuuucks. What's so stupid is that I really didn't care before, and it's only been after the fact that I was like, "Why didn't I do more updo research?!" I would love to be able to appreciate what other people do and not have it bear any reflection on my own $8,000 wedding (for 300 people, so put that into perspective). What makes me so mad is that right after our wedding, my husband and I were so happy, like "Best wedding EVER! Suck it!" I just want to recapture that, but images of perfect people keep grinding in how much I failed. I'm really mad at myself for this, so if anyone has experienced something similar, I'd love to hear about how you got over it, because I really want to be able to enjoy a wedding again. Because weddings can be seriously sweet parties.  

itsonreserve: The wedding ones always make me feel the worst. I'm not even engaged or thinking about marriage, but I will start in the design blogosphere and then click links to something and spend hours on Once Wed looking at weddings with blue grass bands, breaking into a cold sweat about how hard it must be to feed 100 people.Oh Happy Day always makes me feel terrible too. I can hardly get my friends to come over for board games on a Saturday with the promise of beer, and she's sending out toy boats with balloons as invitations to a kid's birthday party. Le sigh.
 
Penny: Blogs do make me feel bad about myself. Way more than fashion magazines. Especially because I started blogging about a year ago and I see a few who have totally taken off within the same (or less) time. It's incredibly inspiring but also bums me out sometimes.

What do you think?

Thank you, as always, for reading :) I appreciate each and every one of you, and I really value your comments.

xoxo,

Veronika.