Blog Archive

Friday, May 14, 2010

Daily Dumbass: Jarrod Saltalamacchia


Jarrod Saltalamacchia is a highly touted catching prospect in the Texas Rangers system. You can’t even really call him a prospect anymore, as he has over 200 games of Major League experience. He is currently down at the Rangers AAA affiliate, where he is absolutely raking. In 18 games, he’s hitting .343 with 3 homers and 9 RBI. Meanwhile, the Rangers starting catcher is currently hitting .209. So why is Salty still in the minors you might ask?

Well, the answer has to do with stats… just not the ones listed above. The stat the Rangers are most concerned about is 12, which is the number of times Salty failed to hit the pitcher’s glove on the throw back to the mound last game alone! 12 times his throw either ended up in center field or bounced short of the mound. 12!!!

This has to be some sort of mental problem, in which case Salty is clearly fucked three ways towards the weekend. How can you possibly be that bad at throwing the ball back to the mound? It’s essentially just playing catch. 8 year old kids play catch in their backyard all the time. It’s not that difficult. Salty better get his shit together, not only because it’s going to cost him money, but also because he looks like a damn fool out there behind the plate. What an embarrassment.